subway mean girls n teachin them lean girls

eyo its da main homeboy ashton kutch bacc like a chiropractor wit that new blog post for u stinkin suckas yo. i got some juicy ass info up in this post such as my first lesson da homeboy ashton taught to some kids today and how to pickup some real pissed off type girlies on the subway but disclaimer this last one only works if u super beautiful namean. no offense to the uglies readin my ish but foreal if u ugly dont read my blog fam. go read rush limbaugh blog or some shit namean. go read ron paul old people broke ass bingo playin ass blog namsayin. ight less get right in2it.

so yo dakid slept late cus i was havin some bichin dreams like usual but i aint remember wat they was about like usual. there was 1 where the kid ashton was up at a beach rite and i was talkin 2dudes wit my jeans on but i aint have boots jus some stupid ass sambas namean so im headed home 2 do a drugdeal and also 2 get my boots and then i remember i aint had boots at the beach cus its the beach namean. so im walkin back 2 da beach but i saw a five o so the kid ducked in a bushes anshit and dudes was like yo where can i get some cocaine b and i was like yo dude i aint gotchu but if u want some weed i gotchu. neway the kid woke up and ate sum honey nut cheerios namean. beakfast of champions tho namsayin. dude was headin 2school when i saw this lil number made me rethink bout them toronto women iiiight:

im sayin doe fam. if homegirl a 10 i aint even wana think about the rest of chicks up in heavy t namsayin. &rip heavy d like i joke but on the real rip my nig. bet in heaven u got finer hoes than dis old ass bitch rigt here fam. neway less get down 2 business namean. no homo when i say it too. eyo but speakin bout shit the beautiful kid ashton kutcher seen on da ruff streets of englinton 2day check out dis lil number homie.

smh god. smfh. so dudes that know the kid ashton already no i aint into art feel me. i feel like dat shit pretentious namsayin. n if u seen me talk 2bad fine type girlys yall no tha kid aint need no pretense cus he so pretty namtalmbout. but on the real thought that shit was relevant 2 my life 2 in a no homo type sense cus im teachin yung dudes bout my mothertongue da homeboy english namean. so really we all sum yung type dudes u no. like jus 2day after the lesson the kid was on his way out cus sexy dudes like me gota get home n eat sum chicken nugs 2get strong namsayin. n 2 yellabone type girlys in my lesson was happenin 2be in the elevator yadig. talmbout im the best teacher anshit i mean i aint like 2brag. foreal i aint that good probably jus that the kid so pretty they blinded by my beauty u no and misjudge a dude. so neway dey was talmbout how old the kid ashton be and i told em 21 cus its the truth ok. asplusk dont lie fam write that shit down2 cuse im down 4ever b. honesty important anshit. thats why i aint denied that sara leal type shit. cus im a dude wit a big heart. u no wat they should change dis poster 2 we are all yung at heart yadig. shit just sounds better tbh. matters fact yaboy gone patent that shit put it on a bumper sticker or somethin. nah 2nd thought i aint tryna print bumper stickers wit my life b. so neway girles was like damn u so yung fam. so even tho da kid a teacher now sowin da wild seeds of my brain no homo it iant mean i cant be a yung kid 2 namsayin. neway u might not get it like da kid see it but i think thats sum pretty emotional shit yadig. so it is what it is fam.

n since tha kid already doin photos like a 12 y.o girly on myspace no homo ima break yall off sum rare exclusive photo of my teachin practice group but yo we call it TP cus CELTA dudes got they own kind jargon namsayin. das andrew2 on da left n da homegirl tasha on the right yadig. real thugs namsayin. n of course da insanely beautiful dude in the middle be yours truly dat boy genius aplusk fam. breakin ol ladies hearts nshit. rip demi moore in my heart anshit. (cus yo homegirl aint realy dead just in my heart namsayin. so dont tell perez hilton and those dudes that she dead jus cuz da boy ashton said so cuz she aint foreal dead ok. but i mean she damn close tho she so old man foreal. cant even use google fam. ight but much love to the homegirl demi tho girl just old as shit feel me.)

so yo leme give dudes a lowdown bout pickup of the day namsayin. yall already no da kid be touchin girls left n right namean cus im so beautiful but 2day ashton pulled somethin megafine namean. i ran up in that subway train that was already packed nshit cus i aint down 2 wait another 1 minute for the nex train namsayin like i was talmbout be4 da kid 2 pretty n got 2 much prettyboy type ish to take care of bac at the crib ight. so this lil mama was like eyo dog u steppin on my foot. so yo i felt bad for girl i took my foot off and said is it god? an she aint got shit 2say cus yo, my foot was off it namean. so then yaboy turn around and hit homegirl off in the face wit the backpack itght. and i mean dis shit a accident rite. but she flippin talmbout man take yo bag off. so da homeboy complied cus yo after teachin yung seeds all day da kid get tired namtalmbout. so the subway goin all snail pace on a dude and stoppin nshit so da kid ashton try to take some chances wit bad mama namean. so dudes like eyo u live here? why da metro doin that start-stop type buushit? n she was stil pised like yo wtf kinda question that is. axin me nex if im from tonroton and we chatin. babygirl talmbout she a personal trainer late 2work namsayin. so i look mama in the eyes wit dem pretty boy mt kaylash type eyelash n mama heart melt yo. i gave her that slow syrupy type sweet talk like yo sorry i steped on your shoe sexy lil thang. so then we getin off the subway 2switch trains and she all takin my hand 2show the dude where my train at even tho i told babygirl i already no where it at namean. long story short got homegirl number real easy. da kid should jus start goin out kickin girls n hittin em wit bags on purpose n pickin em up after that cus god damn im beautiful namean.

and yo i aint never thought id say this type shit bout anyone but yo the kid ashton jus 2cute 4comfort yo. i mean u no somethin aint rite if i keep girly heart and pussy cryin at the same time b. dudes no i aint religios or nothin but i respek tha lord tho foreal. like jesus and dude father anshit no star wars like i respect that dude made the world anshit so big ups to lil fella namean. so shit aint 2be taken litely when im sayin dude made a mistake wit ya boy namsayin. like foreal dude fucced up cause i shouldnt be able 2jus go out and kill it the way i do cuz my beauty fam. movin on tho.

dude aint learn from his mistakes neither cus i jus ate 9 chicken nugs n 9 fishsticks n im feelin like a heavy type fool god. mouth all cut up 2 from them ketchup chips namean. gota foreal join a gym or some equally homo type shit. dude gotta stay clean cut namean. talmbout v cuts 2 nonw of that scruffy beard shit yall no how i do

Ashton

celta course n homo milk yadig

ayo wat up yall. this da first post so yaboy ashton kutcher AKA jboibs AKA da kid air jordan AKA da homeboy NEMO AKA a to tha k homeboy gona lay it out for yall real slow like. tsssssssss

da kid up in toronto takin a CELTA class so i can move out to da motherland spain an teach some yung seeds bout teachin our fine language that we speakin namean. im talmbout english namtalmbout. CELTA be certified by the good whiteboys over at cambridge so u already no this shit been official playa. neway dis blog gona detail my exploits in this great city of toronto namean. talmbout the homeboy drake from hear and the homeboy spacghostpurrrp up in a mothafucka 2 ya herd? my boy rik mendez big ups shout tha kid out bout dude lass night so u already no da kid ashton be up on the up and up wit the local gossip anshit. so nuff introductionin da kid yung mike kelso gona get rite in it ya dig. no homo

today was the first day classes namtalmbout. met da other 5 candidate kids for that CELTA certificate and like 31 kids yours truly and those other suckas i just aforementioned gona be teachin ight. most of em out my age range 2 which pretty good actually cus the kid aint wana get distrac or nothin but this 1 tiny type real thick tho cuban girl be like 17 was like eyin ya boy real close like. tryna get wit this but ima keep it professional tho yadig. im serious bout this shit yo i gota be teachin dudes how to speak english talmbout yung kids in the ghettoized ass countries like da homeland spain namean.

up on that subway dis mornin my suspenders caught all on a bitch and yo she fliped on my foreal. i thought these toronto ass type dudes was actually pretty friendly anshit but yo she bust a brain nut up on me not in a good way too no homo. so she all pissed but im sittin nex 2 her now aint tryna make enemies i mean the kid ashton jus got 2 this city yo so i turn round and im like yo im sorry lady and she all talkin to me wit that "you should be" ish that jus cold as a fool tho. so i look at girl wit them cute dsquared goggles talmbout "should i?" and she laugh and forgave me. makin friends yo. but on the real dont act like u aint no the kid ashton so charismatic man this shit is criminal fam. imean yo foreal if obama gave nobel peace prizes to dudes that jus got charisma drippin from they buttcheeks no homo i aint even would hadda take a CELTA yadig. id jus be noble prize winnin spennin the nobel prize money in some exotic luxurious type location like the bahama islands b. getin allcharismatic wit a waitress like usual. movin on doe.

so yo case ima mention dudes the CELTA instructor names is david and patrick. should been david goliatih cause that biblical type shit mad dudes relate to it namean like the pope and type dudes. and the cardigan up in milan or whatever dude church called but i holla tho. patrick this asian type dude and david from da motherland UK namean wit that thick ass UK accent. and iaint mean ukraine dog, lke the foreal britain. get wit it

anyway da homeboy patrick taught us yung seedz mandarin to give us a teachin demo and da most beautiful kid ashton heated up some pizza in a microwave for linch wit sum goat cheese and spinach all on it and some sundry tomatoes man that ish delish. end of the day we met mad student type dudes we gona teach in prepearation for teachin the yung seeds out in spain namean. homeboy victor from russia aint speak nothin for english and dude like 65 but dude my favorite cause he funny as ish doe.

neway u already no the beautiful kid ashton got mad ish 2do so i boucned out that sucka soons the times up and hit up that freshco namean. thats where ima be buyin all my foodstuffs for yall aint already no. got sum clementines and chererios (for tha heart namean) and spaghettis and da sauce 2 go wit it too cause the boy throough namean and some no homo milk and sum soymilk 2 for gettin big up at the gym amean. and some peanut butter and some reagular buter and sum fish sticks n ketchup chips and cheickn nugets u no. n sum oj and sum tonic water for the malaria in dis city its a real prollem. but on the real my imune system can take it im jus tryna take no chances namean take no prisoners. and some bread an some other ish but iaint tryna bore yall man im 2 beautiful 2be talmbout foodstuffs neway so less move on 2 the more innerestin type ish namean.

actualy i think i talked bout all that stuff fromt oday so check out the milk in torototo is homo loooool but imean i aint drink this homo type milk i got some serious no homo type milk of course. not that theres anything wrong wit homo but it aint my style namean. but irespect it no doubt. no homo

&how tha kid gona finsih all this checkin nuggets da world will never no. shits a mystery fam. like da pyrimads namean. deep emotiona l type shit namean. an shit taste like pork 2 and i no cuz i used 2 eat pork way back wen i was a yung seed n didnt no better. but now i do an da sexy kid ashton even check the box label after i started eatin dudes cause i wana be sure i aint eatin anykind of swine dig. the dude already ate like 17 of these yo.

neway hit yall up tmo or somethin

Ashton