da end in site namtalmbout

ight leme start dis1 off sayin i aint even sure i shud be doin a blog post rite na fam. sgona be 1 in da mornin wen i finish dis n da kid stil got mad werk 2do namean? derty werk 2, no ant banks n shit. eyo i foreal had dat on cd as a youth god. str8 og god. neway wat im sayin is da kid already tired as a mothafucka yo. bein dis pretty aint easy god. 4me like i gota stop at every window n mirror n shit n be mirin 4at least 2 minutes god. dat shit a difficult life b.

so neway da kid bin workin hard at CELTA yadig. steady plannin lessons n shit u no how it is by now doe. da students feel da end is near n shit even doe dey prolly gona stay in da school n learn more but im sayin dey no us teachers is rotatin namsayin. cus me n nour n big doggy dogg andrew n baby drew n tasha n shuaib is leavin cus we done our month of CELTA trainin namean? n sum yung CELTA virgins is gone b comin in n teachin deez yung seedz we bin educatin 4a month theyselves namean. but yo wat im sayin is da kids no it guna happen 2 cus dey be uppin da charm namsayin. homegirl shinobo bringin a dude chocolatized ass orange peels n shit makin da other teachers jealous n shit. n danay aint quit wit dat ass fam. dats da1 da kid interviewed that was gigglin like a mothafucka b. i put homegirl in pairwork n she be leanin over da table barin dat pantyline all in a dude face n lookin at homeboy all suggestive n battin them cuban ass type eyelashes namsayin. n yo yesterday shinobu tryna get da 1up on homegirl so she came up 2dude after class n straight up asked for dudes number namsayin. n yo i aint even got a phone but i aint felt comfortable tellin homegirl im tryna not be knee deep in sum yung seedz namean, like its awkward tellin a pretty type chick u aint down wit da dalliance god. so i told homegirl i could give her my email n yo. she whip out a notepad n im standin there for 5 minutes while she puttin her name, phone number, skype name, email n address on da mothafucka yadig. all gigglin n talkin in japanese fam. and da kid aint speak japanese so im like yo what you say? n she be like japanese! god damn b. neway i bin stayin late at school 2 get done wit deez assignments b. workload a mothafucca yo. shit aint no joke. im eric b in a mothafucka. workin harder than da real president 2. no disrespect obama nshit. tell yo wifey 2stop callin doe on da real.

n yo 2day da kid walked out da bathroom n i was in there like 8 minutes namean? like i aint shittin or nothin cause i do that @home b. but yo i hadda be mirin 4 a while cause da kid lookin 2cute 2day b. so after da mirin i walk out da bathroom all embarassed thinkin dudes thinkin im da nasty mothafucka sprayin shit everywhere b. n shinobu chillin outside da bathroom door jus cryin n shit. so im like eyo wats wrong homegirl? she aint even look kid in da eyes doe. she jus kinda turn away. but yo i was late 4givin my lesson so i jus bailed b. LOL in retrospect shit was wild womanly of yaboi actually. just turnt around n went 2class b. but i aint no if she woulda been tryna sex yaboi if i put dat pretty lil hand on homegirl shoulder namsayin? n if she seen me in da eyes2. wat i tell u bout dem eyelashes b? steady wreckin homes day n nite no kid cudi b. real talk doe. word is bond in class i told homegirl tasha bout cryin ass shinobu but den shinobu walk up in da lesson all late n shit n teary namean. n 5 minutes later she grab her shit n run da fucc bac out namsayin. so tasha followed her n dis other girl followed her 2 dis girl kelly thats like 50 so i aint realy no why she followin but w.e god. aint my bidness namean. so tasha come back tambout shinobu miss her mama back in japan. but den kelly walk in wit a pink note 4me god. wit sum broken english talmbout why i aint emailed her yet n shit. so yo dis shit gettin risky b. mad dangerous. i aint want da seedz gettin da wrong idea. da kid here 2teach em not bleach em namean? instruct not destruct. i want em 2 learn not burn. ight enuff wit da dope rhymes dis aint da place or da time. shit i did it aggin.

so like i said yo 2morow da last lesson n way things is goin lately round da CELTA da kid guna wear sum metal briefs or somethin fam. yo do dsquared even make metal briefs? smh. neway im sayin doe. aint tryna get jumped by da enemy namean. da yung spanish type girls kid been flirtin wit outside TP doe. like da 1s payin 2learn english from sum already certified type instructors yo. dey been gettin frisky in da halls 2. homeboy yung drew walked by yaboy wit one all on me arms around da kid neck n gettin sexy n im sure dude saw me yo. he aint said nuttin but yo i aint tryna get fired ova dis shit. so yo idk how ima stop da rush b. dat vag hungrier than ever fam. dat shit like a ethiopian kid. oh shit btw da kid ashton had sum ethiopian food da otha day n dat shit was off da chizzain b. foreal shit was retarded god fam. gota go bac2 dat place 1day.

tmo nite da kid goin2 old dog andrew place 4sum food n shit party up wit david n company yo. i aint no how shit gone b yet but prolly p funny god. so yo ima hit yall bacc after da fact. da kid foreal gota get sum sleep now god. i aint even no if ildiko up in dis household 2wake yaboy up tomorrow mornin but yo if she aint da kid seriously fucked b. aint no joke fam. but yo neway wish da kid luck cus 2morrow da crux namsayin. peace

Ashton

been awhile yo

hello all da lovely people in da place tonight yo. been mad time since i got up in dis blog more than a week 2be percise but yo who countin fam. since da kid posted last i went 2dat CN tower n got my tourist on n hit up dat toronto city lil more namean? but on da real CELTA jus been killin a dude last week fam. i shouldnt even b postin dis rite na cus da kid got so much mo work 2do 4 tomorrow b. but it is wat it is yo. cant b leavin yall hangin 4eva god.

neway yall no i been sayin how da toronto subway system sucks rite? last week da kid was late 2 class cus da type holdup dem trains was breakin us off on god. so yaboy aplusk snapped a bomb ass photo of all da yung pissed off toronto ttc users waitin 4dat train namean. but yo ima stop talkin my ish n let da foto speak for hisself fam.

aint dat sum shit doe. n nex2 dat is da menu from dis korean place da kid was eatin in wit da homegirl ildiko. check it out boyyyyy everythang on da menu rare as fucc namsayin. foreal doe good food but dudes had pigeon on da menu namean. who da fuc eat a pigeon fam? sum filthy shit namtalmbout. n speakin uv da metro doe 2 backtrack on da pretty kid beautiful lil ideas a lil bit i seen dis on da wall in one of em i think it was st george doe:

ya already no da kid ashton dont like art namean. da only art i need is my beautiful face namean. n foreal if u ask anyone i ever been hung around no homo dey gone tell u dat even if dey was sum serious art lovers be4, dey aint rely thinkin bout paintins n homo shit like dat when da kid around em yadig. cus my physique put any type of vangogh type nigga 2shame namean? 2 pretty 4 art fam. so wen i saw dis i just shook my head b. cus foreal deez girls jus need2 be more beautiful n dey wont need art in dey life no more. dat simple god. word is bond playboi. n finally ima break ylals off wit 1last metro pic for yall bout drug addictin dudes.

                                     

foreal doe i feel like dis pic wuz staged b. like dey put dat nametag on a normal non-addicted type dude n snapped a foto. who wears sum nametags like dis b? foreal doe im done whinin jus wanna b done wit dis post b. ight im almost dun wit da pictures i took all week so ima take a quick interlude n put 1 of me cookin. cus da kid gotta eat namean?

so now ima give yall sum info bout da CELTA lil bit. dis week da kid changed levels n started teachin da lower levels b. n da first lesson went pretty bad cant lie. da kids wasnt doin wat i was tellin em cause dey was 2fixated on how beautiful da kid was dat dey couldnt understand any da kid words namean? so i was talmbout yo turn 2dis page i handed out we finna do a exercise. n dey was jus droolin at dude tho. so foreal i was thinkin yo ima hav2 start wearin a mask or somethin 2get deez ladies 2concentrate fam. neway i passed dat lesson somehow. n den i did a up close n personal interview wit a student yadig. it a assignment we gota do. so i was gone test myself n took da one dat been sexy eyein me even more than da rest of em. she aint grab me or nothin like some of em does but she stay givin da kid dat look like want me2 review dat pussy n correct da errors yadig. so neway i think it a exercise in self-control b. she da cuban1 yadig. but yo i realized i aint even really like her neway dog. so i interviewed homegirl n she was all giggly n sexy eyein me nshit. made her take her sunglasses off 2 cus shit b. dem sexy eyes is silent killaz god. n now i gota write da project 2nite but aint got a tape playa so da kid aint no how ima listen 2da interview god. neway ima figure it out b. da kid wild resourceful. ashton like a damn lake namean. mad resources. so den had2 teach a lesson on friday n da kids was str8 lovin me yo. but i wasnt realy teachin nothin nu so i failed it yadig. I FAILED IT GOD! im sayin doe. da kid gota pull my shit 2gether fam. n den i went2 dat u of t for a little beat suttin up cus a whole week wit no love hard on that dude heart namsayin. neway ima break yalls off wit a pic of da kid n homegirl nour. peep da new hair 2, i hate it but mad dudes is crushin no homo so aint no thang. n ye i realize ashton up in this dundas west rite now but foreal i jus feel more comfortable reppin da east god. my heart in montreal n i grew up in massachusetts so quit ya hatin.

ight hope i aint wait anotha week 2break yalls off dis shit wus embarassin b.

Ashton

6 minutes of deaf

wat up my loyal follwers namsayin. its da pretty kid ashton kutcher feelin mighty pretty 2day yo. woke up wild late ate a dude sum corn pops n shit feelin crazy wild n reckless namsayin. nutty ass nite last nite dat began wit havin a drink wit da homeboy david n tasha n both andrews so ima break yalls off a slice o dat right now aint no sense in postponin da wait namean:

homegirl tash took da pic yo she a foreal photographer. forgive da lightin adjustment in photoshops but dat shit was hard 2see fam. neway looks like david wearin da crown up in dis. king uv da CELTA tutors fam. yo it was mad funny cus david n big dog andrew was talmbout how cute da waitress was bu yo she wasnt that cute b like a 7 b. was mad funny doe cus i closed her just 2make dudes admire b. i really gota stop bein so conceited. nah im jp yall no ashton aint neva gone unconceit hisself. on a unreleated ass note doe dis here fina b probably da last pic yall gone see of da kid ashton lookin so ashton cus da kid met a sexy type hairdresser on da TTC yesterday an she offerend yaboy a complimentary haircut so ima get more beautiful (!!!!) right after i finish blogin dis b. ima try break yall off wit da new look tomorrow or somethin doe.

so less get innit i seen sum shit make da dude hurt in da heart da otha day in dat freshco namean. seen dis lil magazine talkin smack bout da ex lady ima letchall peep it:

yo da fuck is dis b? foreal da hoes writin dis magazine aint neva crushed wit a dude as pretty as me so dey best 2 lay off da homegirl demi yo. sure she all drug addicted cus da pretty kid broke a girl heart but yo she like a senior citizen god. yaint treat u grandmother dis way callin da old lady a time bomb namean? u aint go 2 a bingo festival n start beatin womens wit dey canes dog? yaint go up in a cancer ward n start pissin on da old ladies in intensive care yadig? well yo dis basically da same thing. yo i aint no y dudes feel like dey gota punish da homegirl but yo shes like 68 god. let dat be punishment enuff dat she cant get out a limozine witout throwin her back out yo. n dat she look like alien 2 yo pic atatched 4reference. so yall aint gota hate on homegirl cus her life already hard yadig. and i aint mean viagra but i wud if she was a dude tho cus god damn  homegirl old yadig.

dey startin 2no da kid at da gym 2 makin a name for myself namean. showin every time wit doze ripped up punkd shirts got a reputation growin on da pretty bitch like mold namtalmbout. man i thought i had more ish 2say bout da gym but actually i aint so ima move da hell on playboy.

so dis week in CELTA da kids all had2 plan our lessons 4nex week 2 n make our own teachin schedule namean. sgettin ruff god we wild independent in dat right now. neway da kid ashton got bored doin work n started doodlin on da plan 4 da otha tp group n did a real valid type portrait uv da dude shuaib so ima let yall compare da dude portrait 2 shuaib head in real life b. i aint sayin ima artist or nothin but damn da kid jus shitted on homeboy vincent van gogh namean

yo a note 2 my fans ril quick namsayin. i no dudes is readin this cause da blogspot gimme da low low on how many hits da kid get anshit n yall occasionally droppin a line but yo apparently my reach even bigger than da kid imagined so as a result ima start uppin da quality uv my posts yo. cuz god on da real i been gettin wild lazy wit shit lately yo. talmbout mad tiny posts wit no pics straight robbin yall of a legitimate ashton kutcher experience namean? so yo expect sum quality in dis biiiyoch n tell yo lil sis 2read it 2 namean. but not if she old enuff 2 wana sleep wit da kid cus yo if she is its OV bruh. ight ima get dis wild mop coiffed so stay beautiful world

Ashton

jus poppin in namsayin

sup yall like da title says i jus gotta pop in cus its been 2 days and da kid no how restless yall get when i leave u hangin like some salem bitches namean. neway i gotta make it fast 2nite cause da kid got way 2much work for a pretty dude 2nite 4 dat celta namsayin. shit gettin hard b no homo b. its da boy ashton kutcher btw if you aint no. so ima break yall off a slice yo. no homo

so da kid been life livin steady meditatin on shit namsayin? goin 2 the gym n gettin friendly wit da bad personal trainer type lil ladies in that u no how i do. but yo im switchin levels nex week wit the CELTA and gone have2 teach da lower level god. n yo that shit gone b tough cause da kid observed a session yesterday n dat brazilian girl da kid told yall about mad posts ago was sexy eyein me 2death fam. foreal da kid was meltin 2 cause that a real booty girl got on her namean. so i aint no how ima cope wit dat shit yet, maybe type staple my arm 4 times b4 i give a lesson every time so da pain start hittin me n da blood flow get redirect bacc 2my brain namean. dis like dat old torture wit da electrical wires b. aint tryna get expelled over a booty doe so da kid fina think o somethin.

speakin of that da yung beautiful ashton been fraternizin wit da enemy yadig. n yo by that i mean da kids thats foreal in da school to learn english b. talmbout dudes that paid for a real course. big amounts of deeze kids is 17 too so dats some dangerous ground b. but da kid cant help but fraternize cause dey think im one of them yo. seriously ashton be walkin round tryna heat up a subway melt for lunch anshit and girlies winkin at da kid sayin hi in some peruvian ass romanian ass foreign type accents yadig. n da kid say hi back n dey ask where im from n nex thing u no da kid gettin physical n dey meltin in my hands dog. but yo i cant get 2sexy in da school cause im pretty sure dis shit against da rules b. im serious it aint fair doe. cause yo for a beautiful dude like me walkin thru da schoolhalls is like a deer in a forest god. during deer season yo. cause yo theres on da one hand fallin into traps on da ground namean that snare da kid legs, like when i walk by sum girlies dats tryna sleep wit yaboi before i even get that sandwitch in da microwave. other hand theres da hunter type bitches dat see da kid from cross da room n actually CROSS OVER 2hit on yaboy. but foreal like i toldyall da kid aint tryna lose a CELTA license just cause hoes tryna get me tween they bed spreads yo. so far i been ok n succeeded in not gettin sexed up or nothin but i got 2 weeks left still fam so we gone c if da kid ashton can survive in dis violent sea of hungry foreign vag yo. neway ima keep yalls posted about that.

as 4da blog idk how ima keep doin this cause the workload gettin real vicious on a dude n like i said da pussy getin hungry 2 so ima have 2 feed all kinda thangs before i hit up da blogspot namean. i gota get off now actually cause da kid gota do sum decidedly unpretty type shit n write sum assignments for the dudes david n patrick god. but b4 i go check dis out u no dem little newspapers dey give u when you get on da metro? well 1of em said 2day was 'singles day' n dudes was suposed to wear a purple pin n go 2 the 1st car on da subway 2 get a date namsayin. so da kid bein curious 2see how deeze coldblooded ass toronto dudes actin on a type of valentine style holiday like dis 1 went 2 da front car yadig but without no stupid pin cause yo i talk 2 any kinda fly girl i aint need a pin yadig. but yo everyone was silent n pissed like use god. aint nothin touch deeze toronto women hearts yo. dey frozen as da landscape dey inhabit. i forget da literary term 4dat shit doe.

Ashton

cant stop da mirin

wuss poppin playboys its ya main nig but pause on it ashton kutch doin that thang i do yall. on da reg like use n ima break yall off some ina minute yo. but yo firstoff i wana address my fans namean? cus yo on da real i aint even expect anybody was readin dis lil thang sept a couple in da kid tightest circle namsayin. but yo da hits on homeboy page flew threw da roof yo. people parently realy wana no bout da yung pretty kid misadventures in dis city we call toronto god. so as a result ima be dummin down da kid language alil so dis shit get more accessable namtalmbout. n dont be talkin how da kid sold out cus yo i aint getin no kinda profit from dis kind gesture uv goodwill n shit. its all for yall play-n-skillz. neway da kid actually was receivin messages yesterday talmbout 'where da new blog post at big pimpin?' n i had to calm a bitch down on sum dog whisperer type shit for multiple occasions b. over da same shit yo. so foreal dis blog huge as fuc n ya already no da boy gona update shit reg but yo dont get mad at a kid wen im 2busy in 1day 2be updatin shit ight? i got a life n kids yo. well no kids but u no. well none dat i no about but u no. ok i might no about some of em.

neway sum new students up in da classroom 2day but dey didnt let da kid teach namean. week 2 in da celta means us kids gota teach 45 minutes a day so 1 lucky dude gota sit out yo. n 2day dat dude wuz me. guess they aint wana put da pretty kid talkin bout grammar in frona sum new immigrant students lest dey flood da whole buildin wit dey foreign pussy juices namean? actually now i think about it dey prolly done right. neway da kid wanted 2teach 2day tho cus its really growin on a playa fam. but i aint get2 so uno. dats life yo. i aint complainin doe. da kid was tired from my escapades yesterday which da only1 ima talk about in dis blog is da gym n goin 2da CN tower wit da homegirl ildiko (n foreal i thought it was CYAN tower but u already no wat da kid lack in culture he make up for in good looks namsayin;;; like sum beautifully packaged skim milk or sum shit namean) so i was noddin off when da homie andrew2 who ima now refer 2 as yung drew was teachin sum kids n no disrespect but da kid gave a wild shity lesson 2day b. i duno wat it is but yo none of dat shit made sense 2me fam. neway da homegirl tasha hit a dude 2wake da dude up cus sum french girls was laughin at kid for sleepin. all giggly nshit but dam. wats ashton posed 2do if deez girlies wana be mirin dude? i cant stop em yo. dat shit is foreal unstoppable. slike tryna stop a train like da homeboy in da incredibles movie god. or was it spiderman2 or some shit. yo i dont remember but anyway dat shit impossible outside da homeboy universal studios yadig. ashton plain n simple jus uninmirable yo. im sayin dog.

neway after class da kid hit da gym 2 keep stylin on hoes namean? n i had2 set up da recline bench how i like it cus deez toronto playas aint neva heard of stackin da bench on wild steps 2jack da height da fucc up namsayin. neway da kid got sum firey crunches goin god. whole fitness center mirin god. even da homies at the main office n dey aint even have oracular access to da kid fam. den yaboi came home n got2 work on wild musical type projects. already no yall still waitin on dat punkd mixtape but yall fina have dat by april b. n den another1 comin out before december cus yo in december its the end of tha world fam. so ima drop a last1 before da world explode yadig. neway i aint guna spoil much details sept its called 2012 da apocalypse. even if 2012 aint end da world which like da movie wit da water in da towers n shit said is highly unlikely neway den its guna end mad dudes careers namsayin cus da kid rhymes almost as pretty as his eyelash namtalmbout. n yo dis eyelash a str8 homewrecka playa.

now im eatin sum spaghettis n bout2 get 2work on plannin wild lessons 4dem mirin childs 2morrow aftanoon namsayin. but b4 i go da kid ashton gone break yalls off wit sum pics namean. n i no dey aint realy dat good 2day but da kid figured yalld rather c sum kinda shity pics than no pics at all yadig so here we go fam.

ya already no wat it is b. dis da homie andrew da original who ima hereby refer 2dude as big doggy drew or jus big drew 4short. cus yo i aint got time 2type out big doggy every time namean i got work to do fam. neway dats da kid david in da back tryna put sum crazy acapella renditions uv classic songs on yaherd

dis shit right here talk 2a lot of da yung lil misses on da metro stations actually yadig which is where i found dis poster yaheard. neway i aint think deez hoes needa life study email demselves or sum dum shit dey jus needa call daboy ashton k cus lemme tell u im a miracle worker wit da ladies namean? jus ones wit vision n hearing doe like i aint a hater nshit but i jus want a girl dat can be fully mirin when da kid ashton nude up namean.

neway have a good week yall

Ashton

it aint ez bein beautiful

wat up yall its yaboi ashton kutcher yadig. rapidly recoverin from some seroiusly disgustin type illness namean. da kid was all blowin his pretty nose on some tissues 4 hours b. talmbout musta slayed 3 boxes of tissue in a day fam. al gore wud b pissed but foreal fuck dude. dude makin a movie bout he livin on a farm wit his pussy ass farmer daddy? and talmbout that shit gona save the earth? yo cus he had a dog? smfh b.

neway i aint here 2 get mad at sum wrinkly ass failed presidential candidates namean. foreal dude lookin like a pissed off tree lovin ballsack fam. this beautful handsome dude here 2 give u da scoop on dat city we call toronto fam. so less get innit yo. yesterday i aint dun nothin cause yall already no da kid was sick. n 2day i went to school n did mad nice namean. up in the lesson yaboy kilt it no scottish. girlies was beggin da pretty kid 2drop sum english type knowledge on they fine asses yadig? talmbout waterin at the mouth at my lexis namean. so da kid got some mean feedback on shit from da homeboy david n was feelin pretty good bout hisself namsayin. dam i was havin trouble writin dis blog in da wrong mindframe namean? so i threw on sum ghost n now shit flowin like niagara namsayin. talmbout barbershop b. shit wus my jam as a youth bruh.

so den da kid hit up that subway 2 go 2 tha gym wit da homeboy peter id card ight? n yo i axed this fine yellabone on da train where da gym at n she showin yaboy laughin at da kid jokes n shit. da kid honestly was pretty surprised tbh by dis girl all pretty ass demeanor nshit. n not talkin shit off dabat cus usually wit dees toronto type girlies i gota charm em real good b4 they even stop hatin on ak id. foreal deese toronto ladies is cold in the heart b. but dis 1 was diferent. neway i aint tryna get all mushy on yall ass fam. i aint no strawberry jelly yadig. at da gym dude whouldnt let me in cus i had da homeboy peter id card namean. so i hadda leave dat shit at the gate n go da fucc home b. shit was disheartening fam. da pretty kid was like ayo leme buy a membership namsayin? cus i gota get big u no. n dudes was like yo u can buy 1 tomorow but u barred from da gym 2day cus u tried 2 get in wit peter id namsayin. but yo on da real wats a day difference b? neway doe. on da way home homless ass lookin ass dude in da subway hit da kid up talmbout HELLO! so ashton bein a politely raised type mannered dude was like eyo fam watup? an homeless dude said in this toronto ass type accent namean "you're a handsome foocker!" shit made my day fam. homless dudes dont usually call da kid on his prettiness. so yo i said i kno n all da girlies on da subway wakin 2 was jus real pissed yadig. they tryna do everything they can 2 prevent any kind interactions between dudes on da metro namsayin. dey hate dat shit when u look in they eyes n shit so 2 see 2 dudes aint no each other talkin 2 each other u no dat shit stabbed deez cold dudes in the heart fam. shit is saddenin tho.

so den i got home n ate sum salmon wit ildiko n da homegirl marisa surprised a dude n came up 2 toronto to chill wit urs truly beautiful n her girl franki vally namean. so dem girls picced da kid up around 10:30 n we bounced to maddy's which was alil funy yo. met sum funny dudes in plaid shirts yadig. all dudes in toronto rockin plaid shirts essept yaboy cus yo dsquared aint make no plaid i be into fam. shit was disheartenin also. so homegirl marisa bought dude a gin tonic cus u already no da kid ashton way 2 beautiful 2 be buyin his own drinks namsayin. den we met up wit sum kids n went 2 franki dorm n da party ensued b. i aint guna detail da whole nite cus u no da kid ashton aint into dat b. i aint no kissnteller neither b. tlambout im so respectful yadig. talmbout bitches mamas want me datin they kids cus im so well raised homeboy. neway yo ima break yalls off wit sum pics cus i ben talkin 4ever

dis da homegirl tolu doe. but i call her tofu cus its just easier 2 pronounce namean? da kid aint a linguist b. just a english teacher fam.

dis all da food we was eatin around 3da mornin fam. talmbout sum kind chinese ass restaurant called cum buckets or somethin. foreal dat was tha name doe. im sayin doe. no homo but it is what it is playa. dey like named they chinese ass restaurant cumbuckets. smh dog.

n dis dude rite here called vlad n dude ordered da wackest meal on da whole menu god. shits called BBQ PORK SOUP n dat shit is a doozy fam. before dude even touched that shit playa inhaled a huge servin of noodles n then got2 work on da soup (which was full of pork n noodles. tbh shit was disgustin b. but amazin2 doe). playboy drank dat shit 2 da last drop 2 no homo. n after dat all kinda kids was givin dude dey noodles dey aint eat nshit n dude ate that shit afte that. dudes a machien yo. but i love fam foreal. dude a balla yo. neway u can see each stage foyoself below (click dat shit foda full picture namean):

yoyo but foreal da highlight of da night was watchin mean girls wit tofu b. we started watchin dat shit at 4:30am yo. dey even mention yanboy in da beginnin of dat shit. im serious go watch it u dont believe me yo. n den we went 2sleep at 8 b. talmbout toronto growin on a playa namean. dude woke up round 11 feelin 2cute n da homegirl tofu treated dis pretty gangsta 2sum breakfast fam. cus yo like i said before ashton way 2 fly 2 be buyin my own food namean? ima hit dudes up doe i love dese u of t type gangstas.

BTW PS i forgot 2mntion cus i aint realy post a blog on friday but happy bday 2 da homegirls ally n julia back in da big mtl yo. miss u girls foreal ima hitchall up wen i bring it back namsayin. party up laydeeeeez nuts

Ashton

license 2 ill namean

man da title of dis post comes from da fact da beautiful kid aint been so beautiful as of late u no. now i no dis gone surprise mad dudes out there readin my ish cus god damn da kid so pretty its disgustin namean but im sayin doe. been mad sick aint even go to class 2day namean. da kids i was posed2 teach was proly mad blue balled from dat type shit namsayin. neway doe.

urs truly gorgeous slept till 11 n i kept blowin my nose in between the sleepin yo. im sayin doe i had 8 servins of chicken noodle n that shit is magical b. watched that anger management wit adam sandler too some pretty horrible ish namsayin. dont c dat movie yo. pretty horrible tbh.

den i took a shower n couldnt even admire myself in that mirror mirror namsayin cus im 2cold 4comfurt rite now b. da homeboy peter came over brought a dude home for dinner namsayin, met his girl 2 she pretty nice im sayin. we had sum beef stu up in dis.

foreal i aint take no pictures or nothin so im done borin yall wit dis sick shit. ima hit yalls up 2morow wen i go 2school aggin n teafch sum yung seedz cus aint nobody wana hear about the pretty kid blowin his nose all up on some cats namean. aint nobody care bout that type shit yadig. imean nobody fam.

Ashton

gettin sick n workin thick namean

yoyoyoyoy u already no wat it is. da sexy kid ashton doin it for all u yung seedz out there need sum talkin 2 by yaboy namean. foreal doe da lesson 2day aint go so well so ima be brief wit yall 2day ight.

so ferst of all deez cats i live wit was havin a fight last night all pawin at each other wit that long coke nail type ferocity namean. i kinda let dudes swat it out tho cuz u already no da kid ashton aint never tryna die over pussy yadig. see that a little joke 2 ease u all in 2 todays post namsayin. ight but jokin aside less get serius namsayin.

kid gave the stinkiest lesson 2day no homo. urs truly beautiful went mad under time so i had to pull some crazy exension tasks out tha asshole NO HO MILLZ...... n then i ran out of shit aggin so i jus passed the mic 2 tha homeboy andrew 2 namean. andrew 2 foreal eazy overshadowed tha kid 2day 2 which is fucced up cus yesterday ashton was slayin it namtalmbout. but shit aint easy fam cus theres mad tpye shit a teacher gota do besides create that rapport namean. so even if ur students wana have sex wit u that shit aint gona get u a A grade yadig. see if da pretty kid aplusk was in charge it would but alas b. da homeboy jus a seed in the world yadig. tryna find my place nshit.

n yo ima break yalls off wit a lil imagery rite now case yall getin bored from my typin namean. dis da pretty kid wit da homeboy shuabe yo. dude name hard 2 pronounce doe, shit is like suede wit a h and a b instead a d. but yall can see that already fam. neway here u go

yoyo i jus wana give a big shoutout to da homeboy charles colin god. i been crushin for months wit dude no hom and leme tel u i love dude fam. no homo but emotional namean. neway da boy charles colin be readin da pretty dude ashton blog on the regular yadig? cus shit got mad truth in it namean. n charles was talmbout i cant be eatin fish sticks n chicken nugs on the daily cus yaboy gone kill hisself namean. dude sent kid a foot pyramid type shit u can read here 2. sum serious shit b. foreal tho dude probably aint wrong neither cus the beautiful dude ashton feelin type shitty rite now b. been blowin my nose all nite 2 n got a sore throat 2 nshit. but i mean da kid steady eatin fish nugets as we speak so i holla doe. but yo charles man ima eat sum clementines 2 fam. i been thru a whoel box already i eat like 17 of those a day playa. so yo i gotchu. while im shoutsin dudes out shouts out 2da boy ali j for postin on a dude blog namtalmbout. foreal yall post in here ima hit yall back cus i got nun but love 4 my niggas b. real talk b.

speakin of health n fitness n shit yall already no da homeboy ashton livin wit da homegirl ildiko up here in toronto namean. homegirl hooked dude up wit a gym pass 2 so yaboy was gona hit that gym up today n get big namtalmbout. but yo kid forgot his lock in montreal namean. all looks n no brains yadig? so yo ashton fina get a lock tomorow and ima get huge namtalmbout. gota antishrink dis physique bruh. on some quantum physics type shit. but yo i aint no scientist. da kid a teacher.

yo beforei  go leme break yalls off some shit i thought funny in da metro station yadig. so dey got like a recyclin type station in that shit yadig. n at the same time dey got a trash right. but they aint call it trash they call that mothafucka litter. and yo im like how dey gone call it litter if u throwin it in a trash? smh b.

n last but not least sum shit im postin mostly 4me god. i mean i do this blog ish for my fans all cross da world but yo this 1s just so i remember the shit namtalmbout. cus the sexy kid do come back n check on the blog sumtimes 2 see if yall readin it n shit. so now ima get reminded of this shit every time i do that namsayin. so neway some shit in a worksheet just talk 2 a dude today namean. check it;;;;

i no that proly aint wat dey meant but yo da homie patrick was givin a dude the sly eye cus i no dude seein all these fine girlies givin kid sexy looks when im tryna teach em wat a adverb is namean. talmbout these girlies wana modify a pretty dude verb namsayin. so yo ima make it my mission up in this toronto to not be havin any kinds of crazy dalliance wit dese girls b. the 1s in class i mean. cus yo i aint tryna fucc up my chances of teachin yung seedz english worldwide cus some type sexual liasons namtalmbout. n yo how blogspot gona tel me liasons aint a word wit that red underline shit. nuca i teach english i think da pretty kid ashton no wats a word namean. neway catch yall l8a

Ashton

subway mean girls n teachin them lean girls

eyo its da main homeboy ashton kutch bacc like a chiropractor wit that new blog post for u stinkin suckas yo. i got some juicy ass info up in this post such as my first lesson da homeboy ashton taught to some kids today and how to pickup some real pissed off type girlies on the subway but disclaimer this last one only works if u super beautiful namean. no offense to the uglies readin my ish but foreal if u ugly dont read my blog fam. go read rush limbaugh blog or some shit namean. go read ron paul old people broke ass bingo playin ass blog namsayin. ight less get right in2it.

so yo dakid slept late cus i was havin some bichin dreams like usual but i aint remember wat they was about like usual. there was 1 where the kid ashton was up at a beach rite and i was talkin 2dudes wit my jeans on but i aint have boots jus some stupid ass sambas namean so im headed home 2 do a drugdeal and also 2 get my boots and then i remember i aint had boots at the beach cus its the beach namean. so im walkin back 2 da beach but i saw a five o so the kid ducked in a bushes anshit and dudes was like yo where can i get some cocaine b and i was like yo dude i aint gotchu but if u want some weed i gotchu. neway the kid woke up and ate sum honey nut cheerios namean. beakfast of champions tho namsayin. dude was headin 2school when i saw this lil number made me rethink bout them toronto women iiiight:

im sayin doe fam. if homegirl a 10 i aint even wana think about the rest of chicks up in heavy t namsayin. &rip heavy d like i joke but on the real rip my nig. bet in heaven u got finer hoes than dis old ass bitch rigt here fam. neway less get down 2 business namean. no homo when i say it too. eyo but speakin bout shit the beautiful kid ashton kutcher seen on da ruff streets of englinton 2day check out dis lil number homie.

smh god. smfh. so dudes that know the kid ashton already no i aint into art feel me. i feel like dat shit pretentious namsayin. n if u seen me talk 2bad fine type girlys yall no tha kid aint need no pretense cus he so pretty namtalmbout. but on the real thought that shit was relevant 2 my life 2 in a no homo type sense cus im teachin yung dudes bout my mothertongue da homeboy english namean. so really we all sum yung type dudes u no. like jus 2day after the lesson the kid was on his way out cus sexy dudes like me gota get home n eat sum chicken nugs 2get strong namsayin. n 2 yellabone type girlys in my lesson was happenin 2be in the elevator yadig. talmbout im the best teacher anshit i mean i aint like 2brag. foreal i aint that good probably jus that the kid so pretty they blinded by my beauty u no and misjudge a dude. so neway dey was talmbout how old the kid ashton be and i told em 21 cus its the truth ok. asplusk dont lie fam write that shit down2 cuse im down 4ever b. honesty important anshit. thats why i aint denied that sara leal type shit. cus im a dude wit a big heart. u no wat they should change dis poster 2 we are all yung at heart yadig. shit just sounds better tbh. matters fact yaboy gone patent that shit put it on a bumper sticker or somethin. nah 2nd thought i aint tryna print bumper stickers wit my life b. so neway girles was like damn u so yung fam. so even tho da kid a teacher now sowin da wild seeds of my brain no homo it iant mean i cant be a yung kid 2 namsayin. neway u might not get it like da kid see it but i think thats sum pretty emotional shit yadig. so it is what it is fam.

n since tha kid already doin photos like a 12 y.o girly on myspace no homo ima break yall off sum rare exclusive photo of my teachin practice group but yo we call it TP cus CELTA dudes got they own kind jargon namsayin. das andrew2 on da left n da homegirl tasha on the right yadig. real thugs namsayin. n of course da insanely beautiful dude in the middle be yours truly dat boy genius aplusk fam. breakin ol ladies hearts nshit. rip demi moore in my heart anshit. (cus yo homegirl aint realy dead just in my heart namsayin. so dont tell perez hilton and those dudes that she dead jus cuz da boy ashton said so cuz she aint foreal dead ok. but i mean she damn close tho she so old man foreal. cant even use google fam. ight but much love to the homegirl demi tho girl just old as shit feel me.)

so yo leme give dudes a lowdown bout pickup of the day namsayin. yall already no da kid be touchin girls left n right namean cus im so beautiful but 2day ashton pulled somethin megafine namean. i ran up in that subway train that was already packed nshit cus i aint down 2 wait another 1 minute for the nex train namsayin like i was talmbout be4 da kid 2 pretty n got 2 much prettyboy type ish to take care of bac at the crib ight. so this lil mama was like eyo dog u steppin on my foot. so yo i felt bad for girl i took my foot off and said is it god? an she aint got shit 2say cus yo, my foot was off it namean. so then yaboy turn around and hit homegirl off in the face wit the backpack itght. and i mean dis shit a accident rite. but she flippin talmbout man take yo bag off. so da homeboy complied cus yo after teachin yung seeds all day da kid get tired namtalmbout. so the subway goin all snail pace on a dude and stoppin nshit so da kid ashton try to take some chances wit bad mama namean. so dudes like eyo u live here? why da metro doin that start-stop type buushit? n she was stil pised like yo wtf kinda question that is. axin me nex if im from tonroton and we chatin. babygirl talmbout she a personal trainer late 2work namsayin. so i look mama in the eyes wit dem pretty boy mt kaylash type eyelash n mama heart melt yo. i gave her that slow syrupy type sweet talk like yo sorry i steped on your shoe sexy lil thang. so then we getin off the subway 2switch trains and she all takin my hand 2show the dude where my train at even tho i told babygirl i already no where it at namean. long story short got homegirl number real easy. da kid should jus start goin out kickin girls n hittin em wit bags on purpose n pickin em up after that cus god damn im beautiful namean.

and yo i aint never thought id say this type shit bout anyone but yo the kid ashton jus 2cute 4comfort yo. i mean u no somethin aint rite if i keep girly heart and pussy cryin at the same time b. dudes no i aint religios or nothin but i respek tha lord tho foreal. like jesus and dude father anshit no star wars like i respect that dude made the world anshit so big ups to lil fella namean. so shit aint 2be taken litely when im sayin dude made a mistake wit ya boy namsayin. like foreal dude fucced up cause i shouldnt be able 2jus go out and kill it the way i do cuz my beauty fam. movin on tho.

dude aint learn from his mistakes neither cus i jus ate 9 chicken nugs n 9 fishsticks n im feelin like a heavy type fool god. mouth all cut up 2 from them ketchup chips namean. gota foreal join a gym or some equally homo type shit. dude gotta stay clean cut namean. talmbout v cuts 2 nonw of that scruffy beard shit yall no how i do

Ashton

celta course n homo milk yadig

ayo wat up yall. this da first post so yaboy ashton kutcher AKA jboibs AKA da kid air jordan AKA da homeboy NEMO AKA a to tha k homeboy gona lay it out for yall real slow like. tsssssssss

da kid up in toronto takin a CELTA class so i can move out to da motherland spain an teach some yung seeds bout teachin our fine language that we speakin namean. im talmbout english namtalmbout. CELTA be certified by the good whiteboys over at cambridge so u already no this shit been official playa. neway dis blog gona detail my exploits in this great city of toronto namean. talmbout the homeboy drake from hear and the homeboy spacghostpurrrp up in a mothafucka 2 ya herd? my boy rik mendez big ups shout tha kid out bout dude lass night so u already no da kid ashton be up on the up and up wit the local gossip anshit. so nuff introductionin da kid yung mike kelso gona get rite in it ya dig. no homo

today was the first day classes namtalmbout. met da other 5 candidate kids for that CELTA certificate and like 31 kids yours truly and those other suckas i just aforementioned gona be teachin ight. most of em out my age range 2 which pretty good actually cus the kid aint wana get distrac or nothin but this 1 tiny type real thick tho cuban girl be like 17 was like eyin ya boy real close like. tryna get wit this but ima keep it professional tho yadig. im serious bout this shit yo i gota be teachin dudes how to speak english talmbout yung kids in the ghettoized ass countries like da homeland spain namean.

up on that subway dis mornin my suspenders caught all on a bitch and yo she fliped on my foreal. i thought these toronto ass type dudes was actually pretty friendly anshit but yo she bust a brain nut up on me not in a good way too no homo. so she all pissed but im sittin nex 2 her now aint tryna make enemies i mean the kid ashton jus got 2 this city yo so i turn round and im like yo im sorry lady and she all talkin to me wit that "you should be" ish that jus cold as a fool tho. so i look at girl wit them cute dsquared goggles talmbout "should i?" and she laugh and forgave me. makin friends yo. but on the real dont act like u aint no the kid ashton so charismatic man this shit is criminal fam. imean yo foreal if obama gave nobel peace prizes to dudes that jus got charisma drippin from they buttcheeks no homo i aint even would hadda take a CELTA yadig. id jus be noble prize winnin spennin the nobel prize money in some exotic luxurious type location like the bahama islands b. getin allcharismatic wit a waitress like usual. movin on doe.

so yo case ima mention dudes the CELTA instructor names is david and patrick. should been david goliatih cause that biblical type shit mad dudes relate to it namean like the pope and type dudes. and the cardigan up in milan or whatever dude church called but i holla tho. patrick this asian type dude and david from da motherland UK namean wit that thick ass UK accent. and iaint mean ukraine dog, lke the foreal britain. get wit it

anyway da homeboy patrick taught us yung seedz mandarin to give us a teachin demo and da most beautiful kid ashton heated up some pizza in a microwave for linch wit sum goat cheese and spinach all on it and some sundry tomatoes man that ish delish. end of the day we met mad student type dudes we gona teach in prepearation for teachin the yung seeds out in spain namean. homeboy victor from russia aint speak nothin for english and dude like 65 but dude my favorite cause he funny as ish doe.

neway u already no the beautiful kid ashton got mad ish 2do so i boucned out that sucka soons the times up and hit up that freshco namean. thats where ima be buyin all my foodstuffs for yall aint already no. got sum clementines and chererios (for tha heart namean) and spaghettis and da sauce 2 go wit it too cause the boy throough namean and some no homo milk and sum soymilk 2 for gettin big up at the gym amean. and some peanut butter and some reagular buter and sum fish sticks n ketchup chips and cheickn nugets u no. n sum oj and sum tonic water for the malaria in dis city its a real prollem. but on the real my imune system can take it im jus tryna take no chances namean take no prisoners. and some bread an some other ish but iaint tryna bore yall man im 2 beautiful 2be talmbout foodstuffs neway so less move on 2 the more innerestin type ish namean.

actualy i think i talked bout all that stuff fromt oday so check out the milk in torototo is homo loooool but imean i aint drink this homo type milk i got some serious no homo type milk of course. not that theres anything wrong wit homo but it aint my style namean. but irespect it no doubt. no homo

&how tha kid gona finsih all this checkin nuggets da world will never no. shits a mystery fam. like da pyrimads namean. deep emotiona l type shit namean. an shit taste like pork 2 and i no cuz i used 2 eat pork way back wen i was a yung seed n didnt no better. but now i do an da sexy kid ashton even check the box label after i started eatin dudes cause i wana be sure i aint eatin anykind of swine dig. the dude already ate like 17 of these yo.

neway hit yall up tmo or somethin

Ashton